Evening you gather back
-Sappho
all that dazzling dawn has put asunder:
you gather a lamb, gather a kid,
gather a child to its mother
Field Note
My grandmother, the very embodiment of southern grace and impeccable housekeeping, called this ritual “putting the house to bed.” I adore that phrase. Whether large or small, maximalist or minimalist, adorned or bare, our homes serve as reflections of ourselves and deserve the same care, nurturing, and love we give to our own bodies and souls. In return, they gift us serenity and calm – a truly a poetic exchange if your mind is so inclined. If, however, you’re thinking “just get it clean,” then disregard that entirely and carry on.
At the end of the day, win a few trivial battles against the storm of chaos as part of an evening routine. It’s the poetic bookend to your morning routine and closes the day out so it can begin refreshed. Waking up to towers of dishes or piles of indeterminate origin and content is simply the antithesis of delightful. Sure, life’s little storms will occur, because, quelle surprise, life happens. Spend 15 minutes putting your home to bed. Your home, and and all who reside there, will rest better too.
The Mission
Give your home the proper ending – add a routine to the end of your day that creates a gentle transition from the chaos of the day to the peace of the night.
The non-negotiables
wipe down kitchen surfaces
And clean off the counters as much as you can. For me, it’s countertops, barstools, front of fridge and microwave, sink, and start the steam cleaning function on the oven. Even if it doesn’t look dirty, giving it a good wipe will surprise you that it actually was. I always end up with a sprinkle or a crumb or a coffee ground or sticky fingerprint somewhere.
start the dishwasher
Don’t wait for that last glass or for the dishwasher to be completely full. Load it throughout the day, finish with whatever is in the kitchen, and just start it. If there’s a stray cup in a bedroom or something gets missed, that’s fine, there’s always tomorrow. But running the dishwasher every evening is key for my house. Plus, I swear it just smells better! I can always tell immediately when I wake up if I’ve forgotten to start it.
put bags and coats in their homes
My children are like small tornadoes. I’m not sure how they manage to use 47 shoes, 3 backpacks, 2 lunchboxes, and 5 coats each (they don’t even own that many!) every day but somehow they do. We do our best to put away as we go but it never is totally done. So do it quickly when you put the house to bed.
refresh the furniture
Mine gets destroyed throughout the day. Pillows and blankets get used and tossed and it just always looks messy by the end of the day. I straighten it up, give it a quick febreeze mist, and we’re ready to start the day fresh.
finish the laundry
Put the clean things away from the load of the day and put dirty things in the hamper. It’s overwhelming at first but once it becomes part of the routine, you won’t have quite such a mountain of laundry to handle and it will be quick, efficient, and have you feeling on top of your game
The Maybe-negotiables
prepare coffee
I clean out the coffee pot, and add water so it’s ready for the next morning. Alexa starts mine but if you have a timer, set it. There’s nothing like walking downstairs in the morning and the coffee’s already brewed.
prepare tomorrow’s routine
I know how spoiled this sounds (just hear me out!), but I have two (Edgar, the downstairs butler, and Stella, the upstairs maid), and they are probably the singular best purchase I’ve made for my home. If you can find or make room in your budget for one, do it! They run during the day while I’m at work and the kids are at school so I make sure they’re clean, refilled, and ready to rock before I go to bed. Stella has a serious LEGO-eating problem so that takes a minute or two or sort out.
Have a cup of tea & a good book
There is nothing quite as soothing as a house put to bed, a fresh cup of tea, and a new chapter to round out the day.
My Weekday Routine
(usually in this order)
- 2015: Laundry (while the kids are in the bath)
- (2045: Story time and kids to bed)
- 2100: Chore of the day (organize/maintain)
- 2145: Put away coats/shoes/bags
- 2150: Prep robot vacuums
- 2200: Kitchen chores (counters, dishwasher, coffee)
- 2215: Arrange couches and chairs
- 2230: Go through tomorrow’s schedule
- 2245: Get myself ready for bed
- 2300: In bed/reading
Smarter, Not Harder
(smart home integration)
Here are our smart home routines that keep us on track:
At 20:15, the kids bedtime routine starts with a notification and tranquil spa music. It also turns on the nightlights/reading lights in the bedrooms.
The next routine starts at 23:00 and turns off all the lights except for my reading light and switches the music to white noise ocean sounds (very low volume) in the bedrooms. It also makes sure the doors are locked and the garage door is closed and the thermostats are lowered to a better sleeping temperature (have I mentioned I’m so cold natured?!).
Outsourcing some of these routines to Alexa really does keep me on track and helps so much with freeing up brain space for resetting things like lights and thermostats and not waking up at 2am thinking « did I close the garage door?! »
Common Pitfalls
ending the day on a screen
This keeps your mind active and engaged and is not the quiet bookend of the day.
Remedy: Put your phone down at least 20 minutes before bed and do something non-digital.
treating bedtime like the finish line
Days may be exhausting, but the goal is not just to collapse into bed like a first-time marathon runner at the finish line. The goal is to arrive there peacefully.
Remedy: Even when exhausted, at least make a passable attempt at the routine. You do not have to do it all perfectly or completely, but robot power yourself through it.
Field Kit
electric kettle
Goes non-stop for years. Fuels constant cups of tea, coffee, cocoa, and anything else where boiling water is needed. Regrettably, this exact model is no longer available, but several others from the same brand are.
Your turn:
How do you put your house to bed now?
What are the non-negotiables for you?
What is one thing you can do for your home to show it some love in the evenings?
How do you wind down for yourself? What do you want that to look like?
Try a few routines on for size like Goldilocks until you find the one that’s just right. You’ll know it and your house will too.
go and rest well
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